“Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. ” -2 Corinthians 12:10
With God, my heart is imperfectly perfect.
Do you remember the first time you played with dolls, and how you talked with them? With what freedom did you invent stories, wrapped up in your imagination, while you let the time fly.
Then as a teenager, the dolls gave way to other role models that also invited you to dream. You were seeking to be like them, in search of your first love.
Later on, maybe fashion, stereotypes of beauty, and celebrities took you on a path of imitation. You faced countless frustrations and imperfections trying to keep up with them. You came to understand what it was like to live with the pressure of a peer group, of friends, of the need to belong by embracing styles, fashions, things, and dresses.
By comparing yourself to others, you realized how imperfect you were. And you were afraid, depressed and even came to hate something about your body or your personality. Your mirror was your companion and the confidant of your tears and struggles.
And now you face the most constant temptation of your life, feeling guilty about not achieving the perfection that the world demands of you or that you impose on yourself. Remember that Jesus did not surround himself with perfect people. It was his presence that made them perfect in their imperfection. That is, they were saints because of the love with which they lived their lives.
Christ does not love your idea of a perfect woman, God loves you. The concept of perfection that you seek to achieve often prevents you from seeing the creative efforts that God unfolds in your life to draw you to Him. True perfection is the freedom to walk towards Him, following His voice, not the voice of the world or your own voice.
The enemy of your woman’s heart, the most cunning one, knows how to expertly mix your authentic desires of perfection, beauty, order, and helpfulness with a touch of bitterness, impotence, anxiety, and frustration. Consequently, where you do not find peace because of the pressure towards a false perfection, you must seek the freedom of love, a love that embraces your imperfections with confidence, giving them to God and being perfectly imperfect.
Jesus asks you, “What do you want me to do for you?” And you must say to him, like the blind man in Jericho, “Lord, please let me see.” Yes, may I see, Lord, how I truly am, my talents and imperfections, my fears and hopes, my dreams and longings; my struggles and falls. Listen well because what your heart says can be directed to God, even if it is imperfect, so that he can make it perfect.
Your deepest needs, your wounds, and scars, your emptiness and longings make you imperfect and beautiful, because they are doors for Jesus to enter through, take you by the hand and cover these imperfections with a dress that gives them a sense of eternity.
Dressed in imperfection, you present yourself as a bride of the God who makes you perfect forever with his love.
TEXT FOR MEDITATION
“Then Jesus stopped and ordered that he be brought to him; and when he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” He replied, “Lord, please let me see.” Jesus told him, “Have sight; your faith has saved you.” – Luke 18: 40-42
Write down three of your imperfections in your journal, and in prayer ask God for light, so that dressed in imperfections you can see how God wants to make you perfect through them.
BY MY SIDE
I believe, Lord, that you are my company
I hope in your love that does not waver
I love your presence night and day
Feelings and emotions do not always accompany
Cross and Gospel are my life
Your beating heart never deceives
this soul, whenever it breathes
I breathe because I hope and I hope while I breathe
I want to take large steps on my long walk
I go safely in my insecurity
Knowing that your voice is faithful to my destiny
You do not move, you stay always
Even if you pretend that you go
With your absence you tear out
all insecurity from me
I am free and freely I fall without stopping
stumbling and staggering
However, I know that you are next to me
Your tender hand always ready to lift
Extract taken from the book Jesús a mi alma by Fr. Guillermo Serra, LC.